EconAir

I HEARD THE NEWS TODAY, OY VEY   Reflecting the changing age demographics of America, World Wide Wrestling forms a new subsidiary – World Wide Pickleball.   China’s 400 million senior citizens organize to pressure the government to raise their retirement benefits. The government reluctantly agrees, raising the minimum retirement pension from $20/month to $22/month.   Miami tries to attract tourists by advertising itself as “the Venice of America” and extols its water sports. EGs (electric gondolas) are the main type of transportation. Climate scientists project that by 2050 the major cause of death in coastal cities will be drowning. Phoenix opens up its latest tourist attraction, called “Death Valley,” where tourists from the north try to survive in extreme heat with limited water. Anyone who fails the survival course gets his money back.   Alaska gives tourists on cruise ships virtual reality glasses after the last glacier melts.   The Grand Ole Opry has its b...

    On domestic policy.  "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for me.” On the Republican Party. "It's my party and I'll lie if I want to." “You know the mob makes you pay money, right?” says Trump about a proposed US protection fee for defending Taiwan.   On America's enemies. "America's real enemies are American cities run by Democratic mayors. This is where my new Department of War will focus. American soldiers can practice their new warfare ethos by gunning down unarmed American citizens." On dealing with political enemies. “My motto is always get even. When somebody screws you, screw them back in spades.” On domestic subversion. "Jaywalking is  a politically motivated terrorist act." (Comments. If so, patriotic car drivers should run over jaywalkers. They should be protected by Good Samaritan Acts. Any damage to their vehicles should be covered by the jaywalker's estate or auto insurance.) On deportati...