The Sayings of The Don, the Capo Maga of Washington

 

 

On domestic policy. "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for me.”



On the Republican Party. "It's my party and I'll lie if I want to."


“You know the mob makes you pay money, right?” says Trump about a proposed US protection fee for defending Taiwan.

 

On America's enemies. "America's real enemies are American cities run by Democratic mayors. This is where my new Department of War will focus. American soldiers can practice their new warfare ethos by gunning down unarmed American citizens."


On dealing with political enemies. “My motto is always get even. When somebody screws you, screw them back in spades.”


On domestic subversion. "Jaywalking is a politically motivated terrorist act."


(Comments. If so, patriotic car drivers should run over jaywalkers. They should be protected by Good Samaritan Acts. Any damage to their vehicles should be covered by the jaywalker's estate or auto insurance.)


On deportation. "Convicted illegal immigrants who have been convicted of felonies should be deported."

(Comments. Agree. But too limited. Any convicted felon should be deported. Serve sentence, stripped of citizenship, and deported. But to where? Most Americans are descended from Europeans. Procedures based on immigration records to determine country of immigrating ancestors. If more than one country, deported felon can choose country. Regardless, most deported felons will end up somewhere in Europe. This is only fair; over half of English emigrants to America in the 1700s were convicts.)


On the global economy. “The sun never sets on my golf courses.”

 

On foreign relations. “Ask not what America can do for you; I’ll tell you what you can do for America and how much it will cost.

 

On fiscal policy. “Tax cuts for the rich, benefits cuts for the poor. Only the rich are able to buy my new government debt.”

 

On education. "Everything you need to know is on my media company Social Truth."


On Europe. "What a bunch of losers. Anyone with any brains or drive emigrated to the United States a long time ago."

 

On being told his programs will add up to $10 trillion in new national debt over the next four years and $500 billion a year to yearly deficits, he responded, “Not my problem.”


On why the Trump family doesn’t own any U.S. government bonds. “Only suckers buy the bonds of a failing company.”

 

On firing air traffic controllers and compromising air safety. “If flying was limited to private jets, we wouldn’t need air traffic controllers.”

 

On being president. Quoting Teddy Roosevelt, “The presidency is a pulpit for bullies.”


On being president. "I have the right to do anything I want to do. I'm the President of Russia."



On Elon Musk. "This country isn't big enough for two narcissistic egomaniacs."

 

On renewable energy.  “Windmills [wind turbines] kill birds and cause cancer.”

Trump denies that burning fossil fuels contribute to global warming. “Global warming is caused by hot air balloons.”

 

On being told the science journal Nature

suggested that the large cutbacks in U.S. foreign aid funding of health programs could result in roughly 25 million additional deaths over 15 years. “Fewer illegal immigrants.”


“I couldn’t care less,” Trump said on Fox News last week when asked how the country comes back together.

 

On American history. “The revolutionary troops defeated the British by taking control of the airports.”

 

Trump on Trump. “I’m gifted. People and governments are giving me gifts all the time.”

 

Trump on Trump. “I’m the greatest.”


Trump on Trump. "Can't help myself. I love me and nobody else."

 

Two other opinions.

 

Putin on Trump. Putin, quoting Lenin, calls Trump “a useful idiot.”

From Will Shakespeare’s review of Trump’s autobiography. “…a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.


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For more satire, see


Trump's World:  A Little Bit of Gentle Satire


Future News

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